Crazy Indian dads...

In our last discussion of White Teeth, everyone was pretty hard on Samad for being a hypocrite about becoming westernized, which is understandable. I mean, the guy yells at his wife for wearing tennis shoes with her sari while he’s wearing a full track suit (if you're going to make arguments like that, at least make sure you're the epitome of Bangladeshi fashion). But despite all this, I feel pretty sympathetic towards him. You have to consider the idea that coming from the Bangladeshi/Indian culture (which has remained mostly unchanged for centuries) to the western/English culture would be terrifying, especially in the sense of parenting. Everyone has ideals and values they want to instill in their children, and they do so, consciously or not. For Samad, raising two already very impressionable boys in a comparatively wild and secular culture would be a huge burden of responsibility, especially considering he is, despite his resistance, influenced by it too. I guess part of the reason I can’t be too tough on Samad is because his attitude reminds me a little of my grandfather’s. My dad is from Singapore and his parents were originally from Kerala, India. When he married my mom, an American, they kept it a secret for a while because my grandfather was accustomed to the idea of arranging marriages for one’s children and wasn't exactly thrilled at first with my dad making his own decision there (all 7 of his kids ended up choosing their own spouses, so he didn’t really get to follow through on that one at all…). The thing is, what my grandfather was doing was out of love for his kids, wanting to ensure that they would live happy and productive lives, which is the same motive Samad has. Sending Magid back home isn’t just about avoiding westernizing culture, it’s about keeping at least one of his kids out of harm’s way and trying to ensure him a good future. Seeing this, I really can’t get too angry with Samad. But that still doesn’t justify kidnapping kids. That’s not the solution… usually…